One for the Books– A Day to Remember

I am pretty tired, but I want to write about some things while they are very fresh on my mind.

Have you ever met someone that completely changed your life? They didn’t do anything life-changing. They are probably totally unaware that they had the sort of impact on your world that moves mountains, but they changed you.

Today, I met an extraordinary person. We have known each other for a short while, thanks to technology these days. We had a remarkable day exploring a town neither of us was familiar with. We laughed and the conversation flowed like a mountain stream, uninterrupted and so easily. I have been blessed with people throughout my life that I’m thankful to know and have known, but I have never met anyone like this individual. He has the kindest eyes I’ve ever seen. He is so genuine and engaging. I am so very thankful that I got a chance to spend time with him. I will forever cherish this day.

It’s about more than just good conversation and laughs. His presence empowers me. He has breathed into me renewed life. The way he speaks and his compassion for others captivates you. I cannot adequately put into words how incredible he is.

We can never be sure what the future holds. I can only hope that he is someone that will be in my life for a very long time. At the very least, he has given me a memory that I will forever hold dear to my heart.

People come and go in life. It hurts a lot of times when they go, especially if you don’t want to let them go. I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason. You can find beauty in every single situation. There is no exception. I am constantly learning that.

You are not a prison. You can’t contain everything you love in a room and hold it there forever. People are meant to grow and live. You have to learn to cherish the moments you are given and let go of the pain. You cannot regret something that once made you happy just because it no longer brings you happiness. You have to let go. I am one of those people that want to hold onto everything. It is so hard for me to let things and people go. It hurts. It hurts like hell.

Like a caterpillar must go through changes to become a butterfly, we too have to go through changes to become better. It can sometimes be impossible to see in the moment. I have been in that place more times than I can count. I have cursed my life and the choices I have made. I have beat myself down mentally with thoughts of worthlessness and telling myself that I don’t deserve anything.

It’s not true. Everyone is worthy. Everyone deserves the very best. Your mistakes and circumstances do not define you. I’ve said it before, but I can’t say it enough. Do not let the past beat you down. You have to stand back up and face the world head on. Don’t let the world harden you and take your compassion. Don’t let your own fears stifle you.

We live in a world, now, where people are more worried about keeping up with the constant stream of social media as opposed to the people in their very presence. Put down your phones. Interact with people in real life. We all want these beautiful lives and relationships and we’re always searching, constantly searching. Stop searching. Look around you. You could be missing out on something before your very eyes because you’re so caught up in things that don’t matter. Take some time to soak in the life you have been given. How can you make it better? How can you make it richer in things that matter? Stop comparing yourself and your life to the snapshot pieces you see of others. You’re usually only being shown the best parts. Everyone has woes and struggles in life. They are not exempt simply because you are unaware of them.

You have to learn to accept yourself and love yourself unconditionally. You matter and you should never ever let another person make you feel any differently. You should also never tell yourself otherwise. There are going to be people that are going to try and break you. They are going to make you question who you are. You must not let those people break you. You will not be accepted by everyone. It’s just a fact of life. It’s okay. You don’t have to be accepted by everyone. Their views and opinions of you are exactly that, THEIRS! They don’t have to influence your life unless you let them. The way you treat others is a direct reflection on yourself. The same goes for how people treat you; it is a direct reflection on themselves, not you.

I am learning to be more compassionate. I am learning to focus on the things in life that really matter. I am learning every day, and I will continue to do so for the rest of my life. Knowledge is power and when you use that power to better yourself, others, and the world around you it becomes a magnificent place– physically and mentally.

I am so very thankful for the person I have spoken about in this post. He has opened up a world for me that I was unaware was even closed to begin with. I am so very grateful for the life I have been given despite the set of circumstances I have been handed. I will persevere.

honestly,
me

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Coming Together

Today has been a really good day. It was rainy and dreary out, but there were breaks in the weather. My middle brother and I went to the park and swung. It was so much fun. I haven’t done that in years. There was no one there because of the weather. So, we had the place to ourselves. I haven’t spent “real” time with my brother in years. We’ve been around each other, but this was different. It was just he and I laughing and talking. It brought me back to my childhood and it was really nice. He has been “gone” for a really long time and now he’s trying to better himself. I truly hope he’s able to. I miss him, the real him. Change is hard and trying to change bad habits in a not so healthy environment is even harder. I hope he perseveres. My Mom and I are staying the night at my youngest brother’s house tonight. We’re going to watch my niece while he works and his fiancée attends to her plans tomorrow. Speaking of my sweet, little adorable niece. She said my name for the first time today! I was so super excited. I don’t get to see her often so it totally made my day. I played with her a lot and took some videos and pictures of her being cute. She is one of the sweetest kids. She’s happy almost all the time. She eats like a champ and usually goes to bed without any fuss. She is growing like a weed!

I was looking at her tonight and thinking how pure and honest she is, how all children are like that. (She’s one and a half, by the way.) They just want to be loved. They don’t see hate or discriminate. They are love. I wish more people were like that in the world. There would be no judgement. Children really are such precious little things.

On a different note, I’m really proud of myself today. For one, I’ve been able to appreciate my day in the moment and keep my thoughts positive. Two, I’ve kept myself out of drama. There were a couple moments today where I could have stuck my nose in a place that didn’t concern me, and I almost did, but I thought before I spoke and kept my mouth closed. Not every battle is mine. There was also a moment where I could have “gossiped” pointless information just to talk. It was completely unimportant and not necessary for the other party to know. It’s so easy to want to mindlessly share negative information, and today I stopped myself and didn’t. These may seem like minor things, but they are huge to me.

I was reading about forgiveness today and how even a single unforgiven person in your life can be the cause of your destruction and unhappiness. In order to be truly settled, you have to forgive EVERY single person in your life. In a way, forgiveness is really a “selfish” act. You don’t have to condone what the other person has done to you, but you can forgive them for yourself. By not forgiving them, you give them control over you every single time you are revisited by how they hurt you. Take that control back by letting them go and letting the pain they caused you go.

The book I was reading also talked about how you should forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for everything you’ve done. You can’t move forward with your life if you continue to visit all the reasons why you aren’t worthy of having a successful / happy life. It was quite insightful to say the least. If you’re having problems with forgiveness in your life and you want to overcome them, then please let me know. I am no expert, by any means, but I can point you to a resource that is really helping me. Plus, I don’t mind being an extra set of ears if you need some. Don’t let the people that hurt or wronged you for whatever reason continue to have control over your life. If you’re like me, don’t stand in your own way of success either. I don’t mean to preach. I just wanted to share some things that really stuck with me from my reading.

honestly,
me