My Cup Runneth Over

Some days your heart is so completely full that you want to burst into tears because it’s so overwhelming. Nothing extraordinary has happened. I have been sick this past week and, for others reasons, it has not the been the best week. Today, I woke with a blinding migraine. I had no choice but to sleep it off. I am feeling much better now after having some soup.

Still, I am so overwhelmingly thankful today. Things still aren’t perfect. I’m still unemployed. Like I mentioned above, I’ve been sick and in bed for days, but I’m just so grateful for this life I have been given. My brothers’ lives are moving in the right direction. I’ve met people that have restored my faith in humanity a bit. I’ve reconnected with some old friends. I have a bestfriend that I could tell anything in the world and she would still accept me. To top it all off, I’ve met this wonderful man that just warms my heart.

Kindness makes me happy.
Love makes me happy.
Seeing other people full of love and kindness and with happy hearts, makes me happy. I wish everyone would strive to be better and do better. Sure, there are bad people in this world and people that will take advantage of you. You have to continue to find the beautiful in the ugly, though. You have to not give up. It’s so very, very easy to give up. All the bad days seem worth it when you have those good days and days of understanding, though.

Always try to make room in your heart for compassion for others. I’ve had people tell me that one person can’t change the world. Darling, I beg to differ. All it takes is one person brave enough to make a stand and one person to believe in that person. It’s a domino effect of one persons and, before you know it, you’re changing the world together for the better.

I challenge you to be the one person bettering this world. Try it. Let your kindness catch like wildfire. It’s something this world can never have too much of.

honestly,
me

p.s. this is completely random, but if you use a ‘hot toddy’ or ‘grandpa’s cough medicine’ recipe and wouldn’t mind sharing it with me, I would be ever so grateful. Mine was an epic fail and totally gag-worthy. 

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One for the Books– A Day to Remember

I am pretty tired, but I want to write about some things while they are very fresh on my mind.

Have you ever met someone that completely changed your life? They didn’t do anything life-changing. They are probably totally unaware that they had the sort of impact on your world that moves mountains, but they changed you.

Today, I met an extraordinary person. We have known each other for a short while, thanks to technology these days. We had a remarkable day exploring a town neither of us was familiar with. We laughed and the conversation flowed like a mountain stream, uninterrupted and so easily. I have been blessed with people throughout my life that I’m thankful to know and have known, but I have never met anyone like this individual. He has the kindest eyes I’ve ever seen. He is so genuine and engaging. I am so very thankful that I got a chance to spend time with him. I will forever cherish this day.

It’s about more than just good conversation and laughs. His presence empowers me. He has breathed into me renewed life. The way he speaks and his compassion for others captivates you. I cannot adequately put into words how incredible he is.

We can never be sure what the future holds. I can only hope that he is someone that will be in my life for a very long time. At the very least, he has given me a memory that I will forever hold dear to my heart.

People come and go in life. It hurts a lot of times when they go, especially if you don’t want to let them go. I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason. You can find beauty in every single situation. There is no exception. I am constantly learning that.

You are not a prison. You can’t contain everything you love in a room and hold it there forever. People are meant to grow and live. You have to learn to cherish the moments you are given and let go of the pain. You cannot regret something that once made you happy just because it no longer brings you happiness. You have to let go. I am one of those people that want to hold onto everything. It is so hard for me to let things and people go. It hurts. It hurts like hell.

Like a caterpillar must go through changes to become a butterfly, we too have to go through changes to become better. It can sometimes be impossible to see in the moment. I have been in that place more times than I can count. I have cursed my life and the choices I have made. I have beat myself down mentally with thoughts of worthlessness and telling myself that I don’t deserve anything.

It’s not true. Everyone is worthy. Everyone deserves the very best. Your mistakes and circumstances do not define you. I’ve said it before, but I can’t say it enough. Do not let the past beat you down. You have to stand back up and face the world head on. Don’t let the world harden you and take your compassion. Don’t let your own fears stifle you.

We live in a world, now, where people are more worried about keeping up with the constant stream of social media as opposed to the people in their very presence. Put down your phones. Interact with people in real life. We all want these beautiful lives and relationships and we’re always searching, constantly searching. Stop searching. Look around you. You could be missing out on something before your very eyes because you’re so caught up in things that don’t matter. Take some time to soak in the life you have been given. How can you make it better? How can you make it richer in things that matter? Stop comparing yourself and your life to the snapshot pieces you see of others. You’re usually only being shown the best parts. Everyone has woes and struggles in life. They are not exempt simply because you are unaware of them.

You have to learn to accept yourself and love yourself unconditionally. You matter and you should never ever let another person make you feel any differently. You should also never tell yourself otherwise. There are going to be people that are going to try and break you. They are going to make you question who you are. You must not let those people break you. You will not be accepted by everyone. It’s just a fact of life. It’s okay. You don’t have to be accepted by everyone. Their views and opinions of you are exactly that, THEIRS! They don’t have to influence your life unless you let them. The way you treat others is a direct reflection on yourself. The same goes for how people treat you; it is a direct reflection on themselves, not you.

I am learning to be more compassionate. I am learning to focus on the things in life that really matter. I am learning every day, and I will continue to do so for the rest of my life. Knowledge is power and when you use that power to better yourself, others, and the world around you it becomes a magnificent place– physically and mentally.

I am so very thankful for the person I have spoken about in this post. He has opened up a world for me that I was unaware was even closed to begin with. I am so very grateful for the life I have been given despite the set of circumstances I have been handed. I will persevere.

honestly,
me

A Full Heart

My heart is full tonight. I spent the evening fishing and enjoy some sunshine with the bestie. I only caught one fish, catch and release, but I had a blast. It was so nice out. I then went and spent some time with a friend that I haven’t seen in a short while. That was nice as well. Overall, it was a great day. It’s a beautiful night. If I weren’t so sleepy and it so late, I’d be inclined to sit outside and soak it in.

My day (that I previously wrote about) got slightly better. I ended up talking with my bestie and spilling my woes. It was good to talk about it. Everyone has bad days. It’s okay to have a bad day. Sometimes you just have to have those days where you don’t do much. You shouldn’t get so down on yourself, like I tend to do. Wake the next day and try to have a better day. Some days all you can do is try.

I’m feeling motivated again about life. I want to try new things and work toward finding a career that I can put my time into. My friend said he’d look over my resume and help me “perfect” it as much as possible. I’m ready to start living. I think I have some new friendships budding. It’s too early to tell, but I’m having an open and hopeful mind. I might get to go to a little festival tomorrow with my bestie and a couple other people. I plan to ride on a motorcycle for the first time Saturday. I’m super nervous but, like I said, I’m trying new things. Sunday, the friend I spent time with tonight and I are wanting to try out a new church. We plan to do that Sunday morning and then go fishing. I’m hoping for a really good weekend. I need to fit some time in to do my free online classes since I’m slightly slacking on those deadlines.

Tonight, I’m thankful for good days and the friendships I have. I’m thankful for days that fill my heart.

honestly,
me

Coming Together

Today has been a really good day. It was rainy and dreary out, but there were breaks in the weather. My middle brother and I went to the park and swung. It was so much fun. I haven’t done that in years. There was no one there because of the weather. So, we had the place to ourselves. I haven’t spent “real” time with my brother in years. We’ve been around each other, but this was different. It was just he and I laughing and talking. It brought me back to my childhood and it was really nice. He has been “gone” for a really long time and now he’s trying to better himself. I truly hope he’s able to. I miss him, the real him. Change is hard and trying to change bad habits in a not so healthy environment is even harder. I hope he perseveres. My Mom and I are staying the night at my youngest brother’s house tonight. We’re going to watch my niece while he works and his fiancée attends to her plans tomorrow. Speaking of my sweet, little adorable niece. She said my name for the first time today! I was so super excited. I don’t get to see her often so it totally made my day. I played with her a lot and took some videos and pictures of her being cute. She is one of the sweetest kids. She’s happy almost all the time. She eats like a champ and usually goes to bed without any fuss. She is growing like a weed!

I was looking at her tonight and thinking how pure and honest she is, how all children are like that. (She’s one and a half, by the way.) They just want to be loved. They don’t see hate or discriminate. They are love. I wish more people were like that in the world. There would be no judgement. Children really are such precious little things.

On a different note, I’m really proud of myself today. For one, I’ve been able to appreciate my day in the moment and keep my thoughts positive. Two, I’ve kept myself out of drama. There were a couple moments today where I could have stuck my nose in a place that didn’t concern me, and I almost did, but I thought before I spoke and kept my mouth closed. Not every battle is mine. There was also a moment where I could have “gossiped” pointless information just to talk. It was completely unimportant and not necessary for the other party to know. It’s so easy to want to mindlessly share negative information, and today I stopped myself and didn’t. These may seem like minor things, but they are huge to me.

I was reading about forgiveness today and how even a single unforgiven person in your life can be the cause of your destruction and unhappiness. In order to be truly settled, you have to forgive EVERY single person in your life. In a way, forgiveness is really a “selfish” act. You don’t have to condone what the other person has done to you, but you can forgive them for yourself. By not forgiving them, you give them control over you every single time you are revisited by how they hurt you. Take that control back by letting them go and letting the pain they caused you go.

The book I was reading also talked about how you should forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for everything you’ve done. You can’t move forward with your life if you continue to visit all the reasons why you aren’t worthy of having a successful / happy life. It was quite insightful to say the least. If you’re having problems with forgiveness in your life and you want to overcome them, then please let me know. I am no expert, by any means, but I can point you to a resource that is really helping me. Plus, I don’t mind being an extra set of ears if you need some. Don’t let the people that hurt or wronged you for whatever reason continue to have control over your life. If you’re like me, don’t stand in your own way of success either. I don’t mean to preach. I just wanted to share some things that really stuck with me from my reading.

honestly,
me